Farewell and Thanks Otousan and Okaasan

Hisashiburi everyone - it has been a very long time since I've posted anything, and today's a bit of a special day to do so. T-chan's parents have just left Adelaide, and are right at this very moment flying somewhere along the east coast of Australia, heading north back to Japan. It's been an amazing 8 weeks that they've been here, and it's been a huge help for T-chan and I. And I'm sure we'll only truly realise that tomorrow when that help's not there.

Last night was a quiet night of celebration. A family bbq was a fitting way to end their trip, and especially good given how wonderfully warm this Adelaide Autumn has been. Shame I was almost completely out-of-it through work (don't get me started on how hard I've been working this week).

Now as a quick Japanese lesson, mothers are referred by their children (among other things) in Japan as Okaasan, and fathers Otousan. That's what T-chan (and I) call her parents. Grandmothers are called Obaachan, and grandfathers Ojiichan. Hopefully that helps with the rest of the post.

T-chan's parents came down to help out when L-kun was born (nearly 5 years ago) and this time they took even more time to come to Australia... something that was not easy for them to do (leaving their beloved cat home alone with only a daily visit from relatives. In the middle of what has been a quite cold "spring" in Sapporo.

Otousan and Okaasan with L-kun in mid-2007.

And now, 8 weeks later, they're making their way back - back to a life NOT filled with nappies, crying or washing clothes and cloths with incredible regularity. And for all that, it was an afternoon filled with sadness...and I know from long experience just how deep these emotions can run in the Japanese heart. In the hearts of fathers and mothers the world over.

 They will also be returning to a life without the constant amazement of watching a new-born grow and develop... missing the moments that make parenting (and grand-parenting) so worthwhile. The smiles, the gurgling giggles, the holding of fingers in miniature hands, even the sudden eruption of hilarious loud noises from something so small and innocent (see previous comments about nappies).  There has indeed been much happiness and joy to share (as well as tiredness and sleeplessness).

Farewells are always difficult for T-chan and her family. Even though she's been living in Australia just short of 10 years, she has always (and will always) have a very close and special bond with her family, and her home town of Sapporo. It's been a source of strength and resilience for her, but also a source of strain to be separated from her family. Thus these moments are always especially charged with emotion. I'm sure the same goes for her parents. International marriages are in many ways the same as any other marriage... and filled with joys and sadness. However, it's moments like today that you realise the differences.

And that's not to forget that not everything is revolving around our daughter, C-chan... our son, L-kun has also had a big day. He has always had a particularly strong attachment to Obaachan (grandmother), and she's been a constant source of fun and excitement for him these past 8 weeks too. On the way home, he said to me quietly, "Daddy, I already miss Obaachan and Ojiichan..." That was it. He was quiet after that.

So as we saw off T-chan's parents, we knew that today marked another big chapter in our lives, as we once again looked forward to waking the next day - in a much less busy house - with a lot less comfort and yes, support. We know that it will be a big change for us... and we know just how much they helped us over this last two months. We also know how much this trip has taken out of them... and that their travelling days are drawing to an end. I suspect they're quite relieved our plan is to stop at two... but you never can tell...

Otousan, Okaasan,.... arigatou! Till we meet again in Sapporo, soon. We promise that C-chan will still have plenty of nappies to help with when we come. 

Now... when I get time, I might try to fill in the gaps since the last post... as there's much to tell, and much to explore in terms of both parenting and our time around Adelaide.... plus countless bits and pieces that have been left hanging through lack of spare time on the computer. That's the plan however...

Welcome Home... and Happy Birthday

 Well this week saw my beautiful (though mysterious) wife T-chan and our wonderful little boy, L-kun, arrive back in Adelaide, after about 2+ months away in Japan. That's a long time, but about on par with our annual family migration. But, whilst it may be "normal" it's still a struggle. I have to say that I was genuinely relieved to  see the two of them coming out of the customs area in Adelaide Airport... safe and sound. I could have happily cuddled L-kun all the way home.

I had taken a couple of days off, and was enjoying spending time with both T-chan and L-kun... especially as it was L-kun's birthday. It's a bit weird to celebrate a birthday after having traveled such a long way. L-kun was still full of beans even after 24 hours of traveling, but T-chan was getting very sleepy by the start of the evening. It's always a very draining time for her to say goodbye to her parents. It's also always a draining time for me to be apart from them all as well (i.e. draining through lack of good sleep, good diet, exercise, and not least of all... cuddles).

We were still able to enjoy a nice birthday cake together, before L-kun went off to bed, and we both followed shortly after... it's been a long 4 weeks since last I saw them in Japan. I was so happy to have them both home, and it whilst it's always enjoyable to have our annual trips, it's also nice to be able to look forward to just plain old 'normal' relaxing time.



Welcome home, and happy 4th birthday L-kun!

A Small Interruption... The Complications Of An International Marriage

I've still a few more posts on H-kun's wedding, however whilst we're on the topic of weddings, now is perhaps a good time to raise one of the complications of an international marriage. It may come as no surprise that with all of the long trips that we do, we end up spending a reasonable time apart whilst T-chan spends time with her family in Sapporo (before or after I go). Given that L-kun's getting older, there will be less and less opportunity for him (and hence T-chan) to spend long periods in Japan, so we decided to make this a reasonable trip for T-chan... although the earthquake changed our plans a bit. That's ok, and I guess I get to be a typical bachelor slob for a few weeks a year (no downside there... apart from my diet and the condition of the house/garden). However, we often don't have as much freedom as you might think when planning trips - and there's always compromises to be made.

Take this trip for example, which was largely constrained by the wedding date. March/April/May is a busy time for us - and there's always a lot going on, so selecting dates is always going to lead to schedule conflicts. So this trip, I've missed T-chan's birthday, I had to leave Japan on my birthday (btw, not a pleasant way to spend your birthday), I missed sharing Mother's Day with T-chan as well (though did spend it with my mum, which was a good thing)... and they get back on L-kun's birthday (so we don't know how we'll be celebrating that, given that normally T-chan travels very badly). That's a fair bit of shared memories that we lose... though to be fair, they become memories that T-chan gets to share with her parents, which is the great side of it.

The other very real downside is that when something does go wrong, you're not there to help. Recently, T-chan got very sick and had to go to hospital in Sapporo. And I was stuck here... basically helpless... not even really knowing what was going on (as I had a worrying email when I got home from work, then heard nothing). Thankfully email, Skype, and friends and family all came to assist, but still, it makes you think about things in a different light. The world might have been made smaller through technology, but no one ever smelled the roses, kissed (excepting what you do with your own webcam... but that's between you and it), or even held someone's hand looking by looking through the digital telescope from across the other side of the world. We therefore live with the illusion of proximity - an illusion that is easily shattered.

Thankfully, T-chan is alright now, and I can breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Even though I know we've got it very good in that we have the ability to do these trips on an annual basis - there is always a cost, and often it's not the monetary cost that bites the most. So yes, there's a downside to having a complicated international marriage (much like any marriage)... but, thankfully, the upsides are so much more rewarding. I imagine that these complications are not so unique to international marriages these days - when people spend less and less time together, and work becomes all-consuming. The days of a "normal" marriage in a traditional sense are perhaps well and truly gone.

Leaving Japan... For Now...

Well, I sit at the Qantas Club in Narita Airport with mixed feelings. Well, actually the feelings are generally one of disappointment that the holiday's over and also that I'm leaving T-chan and L-kun in Japan (even though it's in the safety of Hokkaido). Actually, as I was sitting down to write a few emails, there was a short, sharp (though fairly significant) earthquake that was strong enough to get the Q Club staff excited (and asking us to get away from the windows where the computers were located). All very dramatic...and perhaps a fitting way to end the trip.

It was a great trip - filled with lots of new and different experiences. I'm so happy to have come now - though I will admit that there were moments when I questioned the sense of it. Even in this environment where Japan is suffering (and in tourist and economy-wise is still suffering) there can be moments of happiness and lightness. I can only hope that a new day dawns on Japan, and the Rising Sun brings a prosperous - and let's face it, lucky - new era. This is almost certainly a changing point for Japan...one way or another. And with each challenge there are many opportunities for positive change. New beginnings - in a country that has both the long history of resilience to nature's fickleness, and the ability to re-invent itself in times of need.

Nippon, ganbare!

Sapporo - My Second Home

Back in Sapporo, I had about a week or so to relax and recover (T-chan and L-kun stay on for another almost month after I return to cold old Adelaide). The weather in Sapporo in spring can be pretty hit and miss (mostly miss) with the snow turning dirty, and the weather turning wet (but still cold).

The snow in the mountains surrounding Sapporo is rapidly disappearing, with the signs of green very slowly appearing. Unlike in Australia where summer means brown, and winter green, it's the opposite here. Once the white blanket of snow starts to melt, it leaves a fairly desolate brown landscape as the vegetation slowly remembers summers warmth.

For me, Sapporo also means family time, and for L-kun that means parks. 

We had a look at a new garden park, Nakajima Kouen, in the city... which is one of Sapporo's date spots. At this time of year, it's pretty cold.

And about the only dates that are going on are between couples that have seen quite a few springtimes themselves.

There are however the first signs of a beautiful Sapporo spring appearing.

But the ominous vestiges of winter remain, and the ever present karasu (crow) lends an eerie punctuation to the landscape. 

Even though Sapporo is a big city (5th largest in Japan), it has been hit hard in recent years due to the slow economy... and with the recent events, times are getting tougher. There is a steady resilience to the people that is born from the cold depths of a Hokkaido winter. 

We went to Otaru on our way to Niseko... Otaru is the nearby tourist city that is especially popular with China and Korea. It's famous for it's canal system, it's glassworks and it's music boxes (and progresively for it's wine industry of all things).

And whilst it would normally be thriving with tourists, today it was like a ghost town. The tourists have stopped coming, scared off by the tainted Japan brand perhaps, but whatever the reason it spells a hard spring ahead for the city that depends on tourism... even though it's so far away from Fukushima.

Maybe a musical (belated) Christmas wish is for common sense to prevail, and for normality to be returned. 

In the 8 trips to Hokkaido that I've made, it might be surprising that I've never been to Niseko, or little Australia as it might be known. Come winter, the population is overwhelmed by Aussie skiiers. The season is still open in Niseko, though the snow quality (that is  one of the reason for it's popularty) is well and truly gone. We stayed at the Prince Hotel in Hirafu (Niseko) which has the one advantage of having not only a large public onsen, but also private onsens in the hotel rooms. A great way for a family to enjoy an onsen together (and this was our son's first experience - and he loved it).

The other advantage is some good views of Yotei, Hokkaido's Mt Fuji. Like Fuji, Yotei can be a little temperamental in showing itself... especially on a gloomy spring day. It's form however dominates the scenery for many 10's of km around. 

Whilst it's possible to climb Yotei, it's not actually a ski mountain itself, and perhaps it would take a brave person to attempt it's hazardous slopes.

We were happy enough to be a little less adventurous, taking to our sled in the pretty wet snow. Whilst the quality might not be there, it's still a fun opportunity to enjoy the snow together with our family. Something that's not so easy in Adelaide. 

We were originally going to combine the trip to Niseko with a trip to the Shakotan Peninsula - however, a high temperature with L-kun put paid to that idea. Something for next time... when the weather is nicer.

So as my days in Sapporo, and Japan, come to an end, I have to say that it's been a great trip - although it started in slightly stressful conditions. Despite the constant media attention on the negative, the great things about Japan are still there for the enjoying. I'll post more complete accounts on my other site as I get to them (I'm stilll posting about 2010, so it might take a while however).

PS - it looks like Qantas have now resumed their normal (reduced?) flights to Japan... so I should be good to go tomorrow lunchtime departing from Sapporo to Tokyo to Sydney to Adelaide. A quick hint - we discovered the joys of taking an international connecting flight (QF81) from Sydney to Adelaide which means that you don't have to clear customs in the tragedy that is Sydney International Airport.

 

Kyoto Snapshots

In keeping with the idea of a tease of the trip, I've just thrown together a couple of the photos from Kyoto as well.... it was a quick 2.5 days (arriving at lunchtime on the 12th, and leaving mid morning on the 15th). Still, it was good to take some time out of Tokyo (even though we most probably didn't really need to). Still, it gave me my first shinkansen experience... and I got to see Kyoto in cherry blossom mode which I most probably wouldn't have done otherwise.

One of the characteristic places of Kyoto is Kiyomizu Dera, perched overlooking Kyoto. The blooms were not quite at the peak (we thought we were too late, but a taxi driver told us 2 days later that we were too early... not sure what the reality was).

Kiyomizu Dera (12th April)



The main cherry blossom viewing, or hanami spot is perhaps Maruyama Kouen near Yasaka Jinja (next to Gion). The atmosphere whilst not as brilliant for sakura as Ueno was definitely what I was expecting from hanami. Lots of people eating and drinking, the worries of the Tohoku earthquake and Fukushima disasters a long way away...

One of many outdoor eating areas for hanami in Maruyama Kouen (12th April)



One of the treats that we hadn't expected was the gardens of Heian Jingu, Shin'en, which we had missed last time around. The blooms were fewer, and the light starting to fail by the time we had arrived, but it was still a wonderful way to end the first half day in Kyoto.

Shin'en, Gardens in Heian Jingu (12th April)

 The second day started a little late (and slightly foot-sore)... we took the bus (a mistake) to Daitoku-ji in the north of the city... and had a look at some beautiful gardens. Daitoku-ji is also well known for it's links to the tea-ceremony, and the fabled (and ill-fated) tea master, Sen no Rikyū. The temple has quite a few rooms that were built by him specifically, some of which had quite an eerie feel to them, including this rather unique dark tea-room.

There are also a good collection of gardens in the Daitoku-ji that are well worth visiting (my favourite was Koto-in) - though I have to say that the most famous, Daisen-in was also perhaps the most disappointing.

Koto-in garden in Daitoku-ji (13th April)



We then walked through the northern foothills to get down to Hirano Jinja, via Kitano Tenmangu, one of the older shrines in the area which is well known for both it's flea market (25th of each month) and the mass tea ceremony hosted by geisha on the same day in February. Today was just an ordinary day - filled with school kids paying their respects at the shrine which is also associated with scholarly success.

Kitano Tenman-gu (13th April)

Hirano Jinja was a definite surprise highlight of our trip... beautiful sakura and a really nice vibe. Also had a great lunch sitting under the cherry blossoms. It's one of the original shrines from the commencement of the city of Kyoto, and is famous for it's cherry blossom festival.

Hirano Jinja (13th April)

We then caught the Randen Railway (a great little secret we found) to Arashiyama in the northeast of Kyoto. The afternoon light in mid April is quite soft, and yet the evening wasn't too cold. This is a great date spot in Kyoto.... and the couples were out in force.

Arashiyama (13th April)

And Arashiyama is also famous for it's bamboo forests which are quite magical as the sun sets.

Arashiyama (13th April)

The only disappointment was that we elected to have dinner at Arashiyama (which basically becomes a ghost town in the evening... very strange given that it's peak tourist season, and Arashiyama is one of the focal points for cherry blossoms. I'm not sure if this is specific to this year, but it was quite stark and felt about as silent as the bamboo forests in the hills).

The main focus for the evening was the illumination of the sakura in Nijo-jo... a beautiful location in Kyoto during the day, and also beautiful at night. I'll show more in the proper posts.

Sakura Illumination in Nijo-jo (13th April)

The next day (even more tired and footsore) we took a late train out to Uji, which strangely enough had been the original reason for coming back to Kyoto... we had planned a driving tour around Nagoya - Ise Peninsula and finishing up at Shiga/Hikone... and I had suggested visiting Uji on our trip as we'd missed it last time around. T-chan then asked - why not spend our mini-break in Kyoto, and it just clicked from there. We both really wanted to go for the driving holiday around Ise, but in the end, perhaps we were going to try to drive too much. Instead, we punished our feet in and around Kyoto.

Byodo-in is one of the main attractions of Uji, and one of the focal points of bloody civil wars (or disturbances) between Genji and Heike clans that culminated the golden era of Japan known as the Heian period (794 - 1185 AD approx). The Pheonix Hall is orginal from 1054 AD, and as demonstrated by my beautiful assistant, also represented on each and every 10 yen coin (and 10,000 yen note).

Byoudo-in at Uji... as seen on the 10 yen coin (14th April)

 Uji is also a very nice place for sakura along the river bed.... and surprisingly few people... once more a sign of reduced tourism due to the fear of radiation from Fukushima Dai-ichi power station?

Uji River (14th April)

Crossing the river, you come across Ujigami-Jinja... apparently the oldest extant Shinto Shrine in Japan, though originally built in 1060AD to provide is quite a nice spot to sit down for a few moments... and reflect on history of Kyoto, and how many centuries the city and the culture has existed through many calamities (both natural and man-made). This temple was built to protect Byodo-in - though itself is a fairly simple and understated shrine.

Ujigami-Jinja (14th April)

We then caught a train/taxi to Daigo-ji which sits on the south eastern edge of Kyoto. The sakura had definitely passed their peak here, and yet it was a great opportunity to enjoy the fallen petals... like snow on the ground. The rest of the grounds were still quite beautiful, and there were still cherry blossoms to be found.

The ended the night in Gion, almost completely deserted now... it was a very different experience to last time we were here. Yet it was a nice place to see without the tourists...oh... I forgot. We were tourists!

Gion (14th April)



Wereturned to Tokyo - nervous about the time we had left ourselves to get to Haneda Airport (given the delays that had happened on our way to Kyoto. However, in the end there were no dramas and we arrived in Sapporo on time - but much, much colder. We had left Kansai at 23 degrees, and tomorrow, we'd be lucky to scrape over 10 degrees.

It's funny sometimes however, you take a photo and only afterwards realise you found something interesting... On our flight from Tokyo to Sapporo I snapped something that sort of captures my feelings for Japan. I know that times are tough now, but things will get better... and I do love visiting Japan. Now as much as ever.

Departing Tokyo...A Slightly Funky Heart (15th April)

A Tokyo Tease

Hi all - well, I said that I wouldn't be posting my usual lots of photos, but I couldn't resist posting some at least. Here's a sample of some of the things we did. As you can see from these photos, the theme is Sakura - Cherry Blossoms. Actually, you can also see that there were quite a few people in Ueno Park as well making the most of viewing these short-lived blooms. However, there were relatively few people enjoying hanami parties underneath and the night-illumination had been cancelled. The other thing that was very apparent, there were almost no foreign tourists on this day.

Ueno Kouen (8th April)

This canal is just 1 train stop (and walking distance) from Musashi-Koyama where T-chan's brother lives (and where we stayed during our week or so in Tokyo). It was truly beautiful - and lots of people again.



Fudomae (Near Musashi-Koyama, 10th April)



Returning to Ueno 3days later showed just how short-lived the sakura are... they were well and truly past their peak, and had started falling. Quite a few more tourists today for some reason, and a few more people sitting down for a spot of relaxed cherry blossom watching. 



Ueno Kouen (11th April)



 Asakusa, another favourite was also very busy on the 11th, but few foreign tourists (but still a few - Tokyo certainly hasn't been totally abandoned by us foreigners!). The spirit here was simultaneously more festive (the approach to Senso-ji is full of life), and more respectful within the temple grounds.



Asaskusa, Senso-ji (11th April)



 Even with the uncertainty and sadness that has gripped Japan, the sakura proved to be a popular distraction. I had thought, perhaps hoped, that the sign for spring and re-birth that the cherry blossoms herald may be a breaking of the dam in terms of releasing some of the mourning. Perhaps a month is too early, especially when there was a significant aftershock that occured perhaps an hour after this photo was taken. Not to mention the sudden rain storm that suddenly brought thoughts of radioactive dust to mind (even though airborne radiation has been quite low of late).



Imperial Palace Park, near Yaskuni Jinja (11th April)



I had not thought that Tokyo during the cherry blossom season would be so beautiful, and I feel very lucky to have experienced it with T-chan and her family. To cap it all off, the wedding was a wonderful occassion that was one we couldn't have missed. I might post on that one later however...

These photos are just a quick snapshot of places that we went. Hope they wet the whistle for later posts on my Japanese Ties blog. Eventually.